A friend moved in with us four years ago, and despite our initial offer of help, she's still living with us. The plan was for her to either quit her job and retrain or save for her own place, but she hasn't made progress. She pays us £350 a month, which covers some expenses, but it's not enough for her to move out. I feel trapped and resentful, especially as I'm a working mom, while she's not contributing to household expenses. I'm also guilty because I know I'm privileged to have a big house and a well-paid job. I don't want her to see me at my worst, and it's affecting our friendship. I'm struggling to communicate my feelings, and I'm not sure what to do. I'm not a coward, but something is stopping me from saying what needs to be said. I've sought advice from a psychotherapist and a solicitor, who both emphasized the importance of legal and emotional boundaries. The key issue is that she hasn't fulfilled her part of the agreement, and I need to initiate an adult conversation about it. I must be prepared for the possibility of her reacting negatively, but I also need to be clear, tough, and decisive. It's time to stop treating her like a child and set boundaries. I need to give her adequate notice, and I shouldn't apologize for wanting my house back. Being assertive isn't about being unkind; it's about setting boundaries when needed.
Friendship vs. Boundaries: When Helping Becomes a Burden (2026)
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